


Cease

by GalaxyAqua



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Acceptance, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 17:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3777979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyAqua/pseuds/GalaxyAqua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love with Makoto Naegi was the worst thing that had ever happened to him - because it meant both so little and so much. It also meant giving up on pride, on ego and sense of self, on tradition, on the pretense of not-caring, on everything. It meant giving up on everything.<br/>He would never be able to live with himself, he would never be able to live in peace and fortitude, so he lets it go.<br/>He lets him go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cease

**Author's Note:**

> mentions of naegiri too btw, just didn't want to clog up the naegiri tag etc.

Falling in love with Makoto Naegi was unpredictable - unexpected - and wholly and utterly unwelcome.

Togami clinks his glass of water against the edge of the mahogany table of his office at this revelation, the vessel falling and shattering on the carpeted floor. Briefly, he is thankful that there is no-one to observe this rare act of clumsiness, but the alarm bells ringing in his head far outweigh such frivolous notions.

He is absolutely and positively  _not_ in love, his first thought echoes. Not now, not ever, and never in a million lifetimes in the infinite reaches of the galaxy with _Makoto Naegi_ of all people. He is not. He cannot be. He should not be. There is no reason for it, no logical explanation. It's impossible.

He is Byakuya Togami, and he is undeterred by all. Unmoved, unchanged. Independent, victorious.

People call him 'heartless', and 'lacking empathy'. A solid, conquering individual such as that could never fall prey to emotion. As the sole heir, his fate in any scheme of romance is sealed; to produce more heirs, and to endorse success to the Togami conglomerate. A vicious cycle. A comfortable cycle.

It's impossible, absolutely impossible. He cannot be in love. He cannot even be in appreciative admiration, especially for the common-folk, especially for doe-eyed, determined brunets, he cannot be. For someone of his position, it is the worst, despicable, unheard of.

The facts direct him so for only so long, as he's grown up far too much and far too quickly to cloud his thoughts with common denial, ugly denial.

So after a long agonizing moment, he admits it.

He's in love, stupidly and unforgivably, with an ordinary boy - below him in name, status and stature - and he has no control over it. 

Byakuya Togami picks up the pieces of broken glass, and steels himself. This is inconvenient. Uncalled for. 

He vows he will never tell a soul. He vows he will bring himself and his heart to the grave. He promises himself that, over time, it will dissipate, just as the water from the glass slowly vanishes from the carpet, into the air and gone forever.

For now, **that is enough**.

* * *

 

"Togami-kun," that timid, terribly naïve voice calls, "You're our classmate too. We're not going to leave you out of this, because we're friends, aren't we?"

"Naegi, it's okay. Can we even be friends with a guy like Togami?"

"Of course we can. We're friends," a smile, "Hey, we're friends, Togami-kun. So don't shut us out, okay?"

**It is not enough.**

He does not want to call himself a 'spoiled child', but he has never gone without something - a name like Byakuya Togami has never been denied something that he wants, and conversely, his initial ideas are wrong. He's such a spoiled child. The dirty, peasant-ridden emotions start to consume him as the days pass, as he painfully grinds his classmates with scathing words down to the floor where they belonged, and as he sees Makoto Naegi's crestfallen face whenever he says so much as a slight insulting word; it comes back, it keeps coming back.

This so-called 'love' blossoms, like the disgusting flowers in the springtime, and he finds his chest hurting.

"Leave me alone, Naegi." He says, to those bright green eyes and growing frown, and he cannot bring himself to say any more. _  
_

"I won't." Naegi replies softly, frown persistent but not at all bitter - not at all spiteful. Togami wishes the boy would hate him, just like everyone else does, so that it would be easier. Maybe if Naegi hated him, he would be able to trash this foolish 'love'. 

"Don't be difficult. It's unbecoming of you."

"Togami-kun." Those eyes, they won't back down. "Tell me how you really feel. Please. I didn't want to say this, but I've ... I've never seen someone who looked as lonely as you. Tell me anything. Tell me something. I may not deserve it, but I'm here. I'm listening."

"That is the very reason," glasses glinting, he must compete - Byakuya Togami will never lose, he will never become weak, ever again, "that I hate you, Makoto Naegi."

Naegi is stunned. 

Togami doesn't even hesitate.

"I despise you completely and implicitly,"  _Stop, you've said enough._

"You're a disgusting, disillusioned commoner who thinks that everyone can be friends,"  _Stop it, he doesn't deserve this._

"You're not worth my time. You're hapless. Useless. Your talent isn't even slightly remarkable."  _Stop it, stop it, he'll really hate you for this now, just stop._

"You don't belong here. Your very presence sickens me. You - " The heir pauses, for the shortest moment.  _No, don't stop, make sure he never talks to you again._

"... you are not even worthy of being vermin under my feet." 

Naegi, as before, is stunned.

_He hates you, you did the right thing._

"Togami-kun." 

_Now you can go on with your miserable life. Forget him. He's worthless._

"What, Naegi?"

Those green eyes - shamefully green, narrowing under furrowed eyebrows - stare straight into his own.

"What is it, Naegi?"

The nerve of him, the brunet is suddenly, shockingly, visibly relieved, and manages the very slightest of smiles, a bead of sweat dripping down the side of his face.

"Thank you. Thank you for trusting me, and telling me how you really felt." A gentle wave. "I'll see you in class, alright?"

As he leaves, it is Togami who is left stunned.

That's enough, **it's over** , he thinks.

It's over.

 Yet he keeps falling.

* * *

"What's the deal with you, you four-eyed lemon?" It comes as no surprise that his classmates are somewhat prone to gossip. Aoi Asahina approaches him with caution, days after his confrontation with Naegi, and he chances a guess that she was the one in which the poor boy confided to - probably crying over his spill of harsh words.

Said poor boy chooses this moment to pass by his desk, and Togami seizes him by the tie, turning him around to face the prying girl.

"Uh," Asahina scrunches her nose up in confusion, glancing up and down at Naegi. "I asked you a question, Togami? What's wrong with you?"

Slender hands push a perplexed Makoto forward, as Togami relays only a swift, "Tell her, Naegi." before going back to his work.

"What?" Naegi squeaks, looking back and forth between the two. "What am I telling her? What's going on, guys?"

His befuddlement is met with Togami's silence and Asahina sighs, starting to drag the lucky student away. "He's just being difficult," the swimmer remarks in exasperation, sending Togami a sharp look. "C'mon, Naegi, let's go somewhere where we're wanted."

"But - "

"Come on, Naegi!"

"Ah, um, okay, I'm coming, don't pull so hard...!"

"Let's go, let's go!"

 **Life goes on.** He still hasn't fallen any less for Makoto Naegi.

He overwhelms himself with work and ignorance; trying to cope, trying to pretend. It's working, but it hurts. The ache is stronger nowadays, Togami contemplates as his eyes bore holes into the cheap laminate of his school desk, because he's noticed something that doesn't settle well with him. It's the gaze of females, and no, not Fukawa Touko who has stalked him since first year, but others, more threatening, more beyond his control.

To name them individually would be a chore. To his dismay, the thoughts, the names, they don't leave his mind. He is driven by nothing but self-control, at this point, and not for the first time wishes that this whole ordeal never crash-landed into his already messed up life. He's fallen, like the glass off the edge of the table, and there's no-one there to pick him up. 

Those girls, he can't blame them lest he become liable to be labelled 'hypocrite'.

Sayaka Maizono.

Kyouko Kirigiri.

Mukuro Ikusaba.

They, too, fall. 

* * *

  _It's ironic_ , he thinks, on the verge of snapping himself in half if he had been anyone other that Byakuya Togami.  _It's ironic that someone so common and ordinary is so popular._

_It's ironic that the one thing you cannot ever have can be so easily obtained by those who don't deserve it. Watch, Byakuya, as he's taken, as Makoto Naegi grows further and further distant. Watch, and observe._

Oh, he observes. He continues to observe. Togami can do nothing at this point but to observe - observe the manner in which Naegi blushes like a rose for those girls, scratches his cheek, smiles sweetly, nods understandingly, and falls, Naegi falls too, just like that - and now Togami can do nothing but acknowledge that this is a war he cannot win.

He could have won it, once. If he so desired, he believes that he could have won Naegi's heart in exchange for everything else. It meant too little, yet simultaneously too much. It meant giving up on everything.

"Naegi, come here."

"What is it, Togami-kun?"

He could have told Naegi the truth, many, many times.

"Closer, Naegi."

However, it was a sacrifice he was not willing to pay.

"Um, Togami-kun...?"

 He would never be able to live with himself, he would never be able to live in peace and fortitude, so he lets it go. 

"... no, it's nothing."

He lets him go.

 **It's liberating.** He feels free.

* * *

It's been a long time. Junko Enoshima and her respectable, brainwashed lackeys ended the world. Their classmates, caught in a frenzied  _game,_ died off one by one. They were made to forget each other, forget the bonds, forget the love, forget their lives at Hope's Peak. He was no exception, but he survived.

Only six of them survived.

They recovered their memories at the Future Foundation, disoriented and grief-stricken. It was the second time his life had changed - for the better, he's told, but Togami is not so sure.

Falling in love with Makoto Naegi was still the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

It was made worse because it happened twice.

It was made worse because the second time around, he had sent Naegi to his death and Naegi had survived.

It was made worse because when he fell the second time around, he had entertained the possibility more than he had ever dared.

With his family and company destroyed by inevitable and disastrous means, he could do anything he wanted... anything he couldn't have done before... 

"Togami-kun?"

"What is it, Naegi?"

"I'm going to - I'm going to save them, Togami-kun."

"You don't mean... the Remnants of Despair, by any chance?"

"I do. I'm going to save them."

"You're an imbecile."

"I know." A reflection in the window almost views Naegi as despondent, sad. "But I'm going to do it, because as much as they were Remnants of Despair - once, they were Symbols of Hope, remember? I want to hold onto that... and believe in them."

He couldn't have done anything he wanted. It wasn't like he changed. He was still the same person who had fallen for Makoto Naegi all those years ago.

Moreover, how could he have reacted to information like that? He knew Naegi didn't expect him to follow, he knew Naegi just wanted him to say something - anything - to tell him what he, Byakuya Togami, heir and classmate and  _friend,_ thought of his decision.

It was at that moment when he decided, truly, that no matter what, he really was going to take these petty emotions to the grave.

"Do as you see fit." It's cold, his own voice, just as he had perfected it. 

Naegi smiled. 

Togami won't let himself fall again.

"I'm going away," he told the brunet, decidedly. "To Towa City, on a mission from the Future Foundation."

Naegi nodded. "You'll do well. Aha, you always do."

"Of course. My name is Byakuya Togami."

"... yeah, but... still, good luck."

Their eyes met, weary after the shared, weighted circumstances.

"Hey, Togami-kun?"

"Yes, Naegi?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Go ahead."

Nervous laughter, Naegi averted his gaze, looking out at the darkening sky.

"Sorry if this is weird, because I can hardly believe it myself but," the ex-lucky student clasps his hands together. "Way back, when we went to school before the whole ... mutual killing, I guess ... like, our memories that were taken? When we used to go to Hope's Peak - like actually Hope's Peak Academy - and those, uh -"

"I get the point. What are you trying to say?"

"Oh! Yeah. Um. I used to be in love with you. Yeah, I'm glad I got that out. You deserved to know, I guess, haha. Weird, right? But it's true. You were the first and only guy I liked, but back then, I thought I was having some sort of crisis. Probably the most eventful thing that happened in my life back then, sad as it sounds."

"Naegi-"

"I just wanted to tell you, okay? Spur of the moment kinda thing." Naegi looked back up at him again. "And also 'cause I want to start on a clean slate. If it makes you uncomfortable, just pretend I never said it, okay?"

"... Naegi."

"No, really, I don't want you to think too much about it. I just wanted to let you know. Leave that past behind and all."

_That's right. It's time to leave that behind now._

"Naegi, listen."

"Hm?"

_Tell him. It's okay now. You gave up just then. That means it's in the past._

"I, also..."

_... love you. I love you. I still do, I'm so sorry. I never stopped loving you, even after all that..._

A flick of blond hair. "I, also... want to start on a clean slate. I will reserve all judgement regarding your past self and your various deeds."

"Haha, aw, thank you Togami-kun, I appreciate it. Are you growing soft on me now?"

_I was always soft on you._

"It's centuries too early to be insinuating that garbage, Naegi. I also ... will pursue the revival of the Togami conglomerate, as a result from starting on a clean slate. My clean slate seems inherently cleaner than yours."

"H-hey! That's because you haven't confessed anything yet!" He laughed, melodious in the risen realm of despair. "Though I guess it's asking too much for you to say something like you had fallen in love with me, even back then, right? That'd be really something."

_You're right. You, Makoto Naegi, are truly something._

"As you would expect. Life isn't a distant fairytale, Naegi. Do at least attempt to remember that."

"Will do," a pat on the shoulder, as high as the brunet can reach. "I wish you good luck again, Togami-kun. Though you probably don't need it."

_No, but I need you._

"Farewell, Naegi. Don't die."

"Haha, thank you for the astounding advice."

"Yes. Be thankful."

"Oh, be quiet and go. Do some great things, Togami-kun. Go change the world."

"Good bye."

"See you!"

**It still won't go away.**

* * *

"Hey, Togami," over the phone, his voice is no different. Dropped the honorific, he's so relaxed. Cheerful now, the war is over. "Sorry for the late notice, but guess what?"

Kyouko Kirigiri and Makoto Naegi had found each other a committed relationship after the entire business with Jabberwock Island. It had been a year. Togami knew what he was going to say.

"I am not playing your commoner's guessing games, so tell me or I'm hanging up."

"That's not fun," Naegi replied playfully. "I'll tell you, but don't freak out, right?"

"I'm Byakuya Togami. I never freak out."

"Oh, yes, I forgot about that. Remind me next time I tell you that Kirigiri and I are getting married..."

He's not surprised.

"Makoto, you can't seriously be calling your future wife by her surname, still."

Ah, it slipped.  _Makoto._

"Gee, Togami, you're more intimate with me than she is, if you keep this up. And I do call her K.. Kyouko, but it's fault of habit, you know? It's the same weird as calling you Byakuya, after I've called you Togami-kun for so long."

_It's okay. This is playing. You're not in love with him anymore._

"Get used to it, before I start calling you Makoto Kirigiri, since you've adapted to that role perfectly well."

"Hey! That's not very nice! She's been saying that too, you know... and even Aoi says that..."

"Because it's true. You are the wife."

"... I'd hang up on you if I hadn't already asked if you'd be my best man. Will you? It'd mean a lot to me, really."

"If you insist. Does that mean I have to show up?"

He heard Naegi snort, trying and failing to conceal his laughter. "Yes, Togami. That means you have to be there."

"I'll be there if you pay enough to hire me."

"Togami!" Naegi huffed, and the heir could see the exact expression he was making. "I'll call you later and we can talk about it then, okay? Kirigi- er, Kyouko's calling me. Says it's urgent."

"I won't pick up if it's you, then." He replied defiantly, having fun teasing Naegi as they had reached that level of comfort over the years.

"I'll text you, you prick. It tells me when you've seen them." Naegi grumbled, and finally hung up.

He distracted himself for only three hours or so, with idle reading and paperwork, before the first text made its presence known to him. His ringtone, of course, set by Naegi. 

"So honest answer now, before Kyouko grills me AND you alive," the text began, "will you be my best man, Togami?"

Naegi's happy. 

"I suppose no-one else would be capable." is the reply he sent.

He's, Togami is also ... happy.

Is he...?

He typed the words slowly, just for the novelty of seeing them on the screen. What could have been. " **I've always loved you.** "

A text arrived.

"Thank you so, so much, Togami! I don't know what I'd do without you! Even Komaru's telling me to sort it out on my own, but I'm baaaad at these things..."

And so, Togami deleted the words he never said and never will say, applauding himself for the only act of selflessness he had ever performed willingly - willingly for Naegi, so that his one unrequited love would live a happy life and never know. 

He'd never know.

"Don't make me regret it." he texted back.

Whether he was referring to accepting his wedding duties or giving up finally on this long, painful love, Togami didn't quite know either.

But he let it go. 

Naegi's face on his wedding day made it all worth it.

It was all ...

... worth...

.... it.

"Hey, Togami," an unexpected voice, Asahina's, greeted him at the scene, after all vows were vowed and cake was cut. "You okay? You weren't... crying, were you?"

_It was worth it._

"No. You must be more delusional than I thought."

_Stop, don't cry. You can't still love him after all this. You promised you wouldn't. You were supposed to stop a long time ago._

"Well, if you say so. But hey, it's okay to cry. Sometimes, that's the only way you can let things go, you know?"

He knows. He knew.

"... of course."

And for the first time in his life, he plastered on a fake smile, lasting an entire night - then he went home and cried. He cried until he could feel it leaving him, that almost love, that love that came so close, that love that he had felt for so long. He cried, because it was unlike him. He cried so that he could finally let it go.

He let it go, he let it go.

God, falling in love with Makoto Naegi was unpredictable - unexpected - and wholly and utterly unwelcome; the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

But he did it.

He loved, and he lost. 

Now he had to give it up, for good this time.

**That is enough, it is not enough, it's over, life goes on, it's liberating.**

He finally gave up.

**It still won't go away.**

It hurt so much.

**"I've always loved you."**

...

 

 


End file.
